We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Reject. Necessary Always Enabled. Remember Me Lost your password? Sign in. Username or E-mail:. Join the club. Every parent in our circumstances struggles like that. We sure did. We were desperate to do whatever we could to save our daughter: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
But what? How would we decide? He code named them PTL: Prayer. Another failure. Another long weekend of hanging out with a dangerous crowd. Lame excuses for her whereabouts had become the norm. Defeated and weary, I retreated to my bedroom an emotional wreck. On my knees beside the bed, tears poured down my cheeks onto my pajamas.
Her father and I had tried to do everything possible to rescue her; to keep the bad away, but things were getting to me. Help, God! Am I going crazy? Insanity has been defined in the recovery world as doing something the same way over and over again and expecting different results. According to this, I must be insane. Have you felt this way with your child? D efining moments change us—and not always in a welcomed way.
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Parents of troubled teens and adults know about this. Our lives are fraught with defining moments of the unwanted kind. Mine has been. I listened to a podcast recently where the speaker talked about defining moments. Their comments got me to thinking, exactly what is a defining moment? Taken literally, we could say it is a moment that defines you. My personal opinion is that a defining moment is an event or experience that has a big impact on you—either positive or negative.
Dr. Stanley Goldstein - Author and Psychologist
The experience plays a significant role in shaping the person you are today. The moment was a defining one because of the influence it had on you in the weeks, months, and years that followed. The event or experience turned out to be crucial to your development; vital to your growth—for good or bad. Defining moments could be any of the following: Many other things could be on this list.
Your list connected to your child might be a mile long: arrests, school suspensions, calls and hospitalizations, discoveries involving drugs or alcohol, self-harm, sexual promiscuity, pornography, rehabs, unplanned pregnancies, a mental health diagnosis, suicide attempts. These were things I never dreamed I would deal with in my family, much less with my own beloved child.
His statement sounded like a sad, hopeless resignation. Do we want to be, though? Not me. Why not?
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And most of all, to give me new focus and direction: to help other parents in pain find comfort, encouragement, and hope by starting our ministry Hope for Hurting Parents. You and I have had many defining moments with our children. Many of them we wish we could forget. He can use them for good…every one of them. See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland Isaiah H as your son or daughter struggled with suicidal thoughts? Have they made an attempt to end their life?
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My daughter has. If your answer to either of my questions was yes, then you know there is a huge need for greater understanding and less stigma. We tend to hide the truth about a suicide attempt because of the shame, but help and compassion are needed, the same as for any other illness. NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, reports: Suicidal thoughts, much like mental health conditions, can affect anyone regardless of age, gender or background.
In fact, suicide is often the result of an untreated mental health condition. Suicidal ideations, although common, should not be considered normal and often indicate more serious issues. In many cases, those affected suicide survivors are left in the dark. Too often feelings of shame and stigma prevent them from talking openly.
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This should not be so. September was National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month—a time to share resources and stories in an effort to shed light on this highly taboo topic. Please know that NAMI is there to help. The following is a letter written by a mom, Beth Saadati.
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Her daughter was only Her message is powerful and is for anyone, not just parents. It was written by guest blogger, Nick Watts, a father whose son died by suicide several years ago. With beautiful authenticity, this pastor shared what the first year was like after his significant loss, what restored him, and where he found hope to go on. Powerfully different.
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